Quilting mends the soul - Stress

Hello, I am not doing the day number thing anymore - This is not "Julie and Julia" where I am doing so many recipes in so many days.

Stress is in our lives, we just can not avoid it anymore! Health issues add to the daily stressor's we all experience.

Do you know the NUMBER ONE stressor?

Money! Money is the one thing every person stresses over daily!

Why? It makes the world go round apparently. Plus, so many live above their means they can not get their head above water and keep it there. I mean seriously you really think your 8 year old needs an iPhone with an unlimited data plan and your okay with that, well then you are stressing yourself! Here is an idea get em a string and two cans to put together and give them the opportunity to be a kid! I just don't get it. Kids can not add today in their own head or with paper and pen unless they have a phone with a calculator, I mean even at a store they can not count change out anymore without having to think it over before they can begin to count and the cash register tells them the answer!

Life is NOT an app!

I am old school. I am an adult and have the right to use a phone since I PAY THE BILL!

I am not a fan of phones being in ones hand 24/7 - never have been never will be. Life is passing you by and you don't know it. I may offend some with this statement, but seriously look up and pay attention!

There are no apps to reduce your stress adequately! You have to do it yourself.

How?

Get back to living among human beings again. Talk instead of text. Read instead of watch or listen to a book, and do something with your hands besides type.

Okay that is my soap box.

I stress daily over things of course just like anyone else. Health issues, financial issues, did I feed the cats and is the laundry done. I do not understand stressing over things you can control, not sure anyone does. But for me I have some stress reducers that work for me.

When we have a chronic illness, stress is part of life, and the mantra - "You need to reduce the amount of stress you are under" statements from health care providers only adds to my stress! Not sure if it should be a prescription written out or not anymore I have heard it so much.

When you have Lupus as I do, stress leads to a flare, a flare leads to bed ridden, bed ridden leads to depression and anxiety which ultimately leads to more stress. It is a vicious cycle.

How do I reduce my stress?

Most days it is just sitting and listening or reading. I mean television can stress me out anymore, with all the BS fake news, scripted reality shows and just NOISE! I hate it, I long for the days of three channels to watch and a phone that is rotary with a dial tone, that you can slam down to make a point with! Yep old school.

Alas, we have 325 channels, internet, e books, e checking, iPhone and pads and so much more technology that we can not escape it. It is stressful. I am not one to have to have the latest gadget. I mean hell the only video games I played were tetras and pac man on my Atari. Never learned the new fangeled ones. It's enough to have a computerized sewing machine which can put me over the edge some days!

Oh binding stresses me out too! Just sayin' the bane of my existence some days!

Sew, what do I do other than sit in silence or just reflect on life in a quiet place?

I pet fabric, I sew and cut fabric, I cut things in my head and put them together to see if they will work or not. I like to rearrange patterns in my head. PS quilt patterns stress me out too. Seriously those instructions are just too confusing I was NOT a math major in college for a reason I hate math!

Textures, colors and patterns can soothe or upset you. Find ones YOU like. Look for tones that calm you, patterns that ease your stress and textures that feel good to you. Prices well those can stress you out too. I don't get some being 4.99 a yard and others upwards of 20 a yard. Its like eating healthy! A salad cost 9.00 and a nasty fake burger is 1.00! Makes no sense to me.

Some good ideas on reducing stress are out there-

Are the feasible?

NOPE! Not all of them.

I mean some are common sense things like reduce caffeine, turn off electronics before bed, warm milk, tea etc. etc. Some of the foods we consume actually cause stress too.

JOURNAL - Write out what is stressing you, write it the way it is being said in your head, say the things you really want to, and keep it in a place that you can go back to and see what you said and why you said it; just as a reminder that that one thing that person or thing did to stress you is there. And remember to avoid it or them at all cost!

Journaling is a God send for some, others not so much. So go into a room, shut the door and talk to yourself! Yep, say it out loud and proud, scream it, break it down, throw it out! Get rid of what is stressing you mentally! It helps.

Now physical stressor's such as finance's, a stupid uncaring spouse, a needy friend who is self absorbed. You have to deal with those yourself. I will not be responsible for your divorce! But... You may need to re think your relationships. Your finances well those have to be taken care of painstakingly and with a clean mind as well. Nope not a financial adviser.

Laugh! Laugh out loud. Think of things from your past you have not for a long time, and remember why it was so funny. Hell I have complete conversation's with Henry every day! (My Siamese). He talks back to me too, not saying I understand or does he, but we do have our conversations! Oliver not so much he is a quiet brooding type.

Read or re-read a book you like, watch a movie you like that is calm - not sappy sad ones; those make stress worse and lead to depression.

Stop caring what others think of you - who the hell are they anyway to place judgement on you! And those who don't even know you! WHO CARES - they are self absorbed, stressed out, non essentials to your life.

If you hate your job, look for a new one! Yes, looking is an option for you. Don't have to change but looking never hurts either. You may find you have more options than you thought.

When we are sick it is hard for us to enjoy life. But we have to find some joy in it, or it will kill us sooner than later! What fun is that.

I found at one point breaking things helped me! Yep, ice cubes sometimes glass or objects I did not need or want that were taking up space just smashed them. Was nice too. Of course colorful words were uttered while smashing them! Now that was even better.

My point is you have to find ways to reduce your own stress or it will make you sick or sicker. You have to disconnect from life ( not life support ) just every day things that make you over think, sick or just anxious. Find those things that make you feel relaxed and do them without guilt for doing so. You can not go through life stressed out worrying what other's will think if you do not do the dishes after dinner but rather go take time for yourself. Let your kids play out side and take a breather, let your partner go off and do things themselves, or just DO NOTHING and NOT CARE! It is possible and the world will not end. I'm not saying allow your children to play in the street - but let them be kids! Take away the stigma of needing to be more, needing more, being up with the Jones's as they say. A thirty dollar watch tells the same time as a 300 dollar one!

Allow yourself to go away mentally at times...

For me my sewing room is a solace for me. Music in the back ground or the t.v. as well is good for me too. I just like to be one with the sewing I do. I don't do it every day, nor will I ever I am sure. But I fit it in, and I enjoy it when I do. But I too am guilty of being an overachiever, caring what others might say or think. But I am getting there with the peace of mind that it does not matter to anyone but those who are closest to me, and that safety is in place for all. I can not speak to those with children as I have two cats who are very independent.

Laugh.

Laugh.

Laugh

Or cry if you need to. Scream it, write it, read it, or throw it. Get it out!

Important here - do it safely!

Don't go out into the middle of the street and lose it. You may end up on a bumper room hiatus! But get it out, don't bottle it up. Let those know who annoy you know they are and why. Let those know who you just have to cut out or off why. You are important too. Take the time to realize it - it is harder done than said, but get to that point that you can!

If all else fails - MEDICATE yourself for a day or two! Yes I advocate for those of us who need it to take the medications necessary to keep our sanity. You are responsible for how you take it, when you take it, and how much. Be responsible with it however. But no shame on you for needing it. I hate that stigma crap associated with needing medication for stress, anxiety, or phobias. No one says crap dung about you needing Hypertension medications! And besides it is not their business. I do not advocate the use of alcohol but it is your choice if you choose, just don't mix med's and drink please, it can be a mess.

Again do what you need to, you are responsible for you. Follow doctors orders - they do not give you good direction find one who does. If you need a therapist find one, you can even do it on line now apparently! Not sure how that works, but hey if that is your only option go for it. But quilting is cheaper - sides the cost per hour of someone listening and nodding adds up to a lot of fabric in one year!

Creating is an outlet for so many of us. My choice is to do simple. Not complex designs unless that is your thing and that is your calm. For me too many pieces with too many directions of seams to be ironed this way or that is just too much to deal with mentally. When I sew I want to lose my self in it, I want to see results and I want to be able to move on from a mistake without hesitation. Therefore NO COMMISSION works for me! Basic squares are good for me; strips, squares of differing sizes and I am good to go! Would I love to do intricate designs? Not really, its not my thing. Never has been. Hell drawing a straight line with a ruler can be a challenge for me at times!

Do what you can afford to do too. Don't have to go broke for a hobby that helps you, but remember we are saving a shite ton on therapy bills here too!

So these ideas are not brain storms that are earth shattering and new. They are what works for me. As you can tell by the first couple paragraphs I vented a bit on the technology thing - I FEEL BETTER already!

Find what works and do it, if it gets old change it up. If you are too tired rest! And stop putting unrealistic deadlines on your projects! Don't try too many at once, even though I usually have 5 things going at once, none of them are have to be done by next week! And if I don't feel like it, I just don't do them. That never ends well if I try to work on something and not feel it!

I hope you find your "what works for you"! I hope you get some peace, and I hope you feel better soon. Most of all I hope you feel you can be all you can when you can, and do not feel guilt for not living up to what others think you should be. It is hard living with chronic illness, it is hard to not be involved like you used to be and it is even harder adjusting.

Now for me, I think I need a nice long bath and some quiet time.

Peace to you. Until next time - enjoy your day however it turns out in the end know you did your best today!

T