Quilting Mends the Soul!

OH YES IT DOES! Quilting mends the soul for me always.

Even though I have NOT sewn in several days, just no mojo and have other things on the mind too, it still mends the soul. I just sit and look at pictures of others work!

I have not sewn in at least 3 or 4 days I don't even know truthfully. I have projects done and ready for binding, one on the frame and two or three more to be quilted, as well as several started, I just have not felt well and no mind set to do anything remotely close to actually sewing.

I have been working on my room some, not a lot, we are awaiting the timber guy to cut the trim for the floor and get it here and stained. I am going a bit different in this room since it is a get away from the world and bed room all in one. I have been in there just to sit and look at the color though. Still love it. I have put some ideas in my head as to how to orient the room as well.

Do I feel bad I have not sewn?

Not really! No, I don't put timelines on myself - it takes the joy out of it for me.

Today I am cooking. Have not done much of that either - when you just don't feel well not a lot can be done. And believe me I need to get A LOT done. But I do not feel one bit guilty either.

I have taken care of some things that needed to be done. Like ordering new internet service since our seems to come on when it wants too, and I hope this new one is much better. But I have also slept a lot at very odd times of the day!

I just conk out! Poof done and down for hours. I think that is okay as well as I know my body says yep done I am over it, go to bed and start over and re boot! I am up all hours of the night too, so it is just odd right now. I get nothing done at night either, so either meds are messing with me, illness or both. Whatever it is, it does need to go the hell away! I am not used to this for sure.

Oh and HOT! Oh man just head to toe hot! It sucks for sure, my head especially so sleeping with my head in the fan and on the floor as that helps my back and my breathing at the same time. Like today I went to sleep just OUT like a light at 0400 slept until noon, woke needing to pee. So that was that, but it was a good sleep I thought. But nope fell back to sleep for hours again not long after that, just got up and said enough is enough and I started cooking. I swept the floor and have a load of laundry to go in the dryer. Sometimes I have to push myself to go!

I will do the same with this binding tonight while I watch what ever is on that interest me. It is supposed to be rain and thunder too, that is somehow calming to me. I love to watch storms come in and the lightening flash, not so keen on the LOUD booms of thunder but that low rolling thunder off in the distance is just calming to me, It is like I know there is a cleansing happening. Most would say at 525 p.m., the day is done. Not me, it is just starting and I don't care either. It is what it is !

Don't feel ashamed of being "lazy", it is a your lazy. It is your process. And for those that have the balls to say you are lazy, let them have your life for one day and let them know what our "lazy" is. I hate that walk a day in my shoes thing, they would not get far as I don't do much of that of late either, so they would not get the full effect of what one of my days are like. Pain, depression, anxiety, pain, tiredness or fatigue. I think fatigue is worse than being tired, it is draining as tired is just that you did A LOT and your are physically tired.

Fatigue is that feeling of blah, blob, bleh. Just off. Feeling like shite, and knowing why you do!

"Fatigue can be described as the lack of energy and motivation (both physical and mental). This is different than drowsiness, a term that describes the need to sleep. Often a person complains of feeling tired and it is up to the health care professional to distinguish between fatigue and drowsiness, though both can occur at the same time. Aside from drowsiness, other symptoms can be confused with fatigue including shortness of breath with activity and muscle weakness. Again, all these symptoms can occur at the same time. Also, fatigue can be a normal response to physical and mental activity; in most normal individuals it is quickly relieved (usually in hours to about a day, depending on the intensity of the activity) by reducing the activity".

"Fatigue is a very common complaint and it is important to remember that it is a symptom and not a disease. Many illnesses can result in the complaint of fatigue and they can be physical, psychological, or a combination of the two". "Often, the symptom of fatigue has a gradual onset and the person may not be aware of how much energy they have lost until they try to compare their ability to complete tasks from one time frame to another. They may presume that their fatigue is due to aging and ignore the symptom. This may lead to a delay in seeking care".

"While it is true that depression and other psychiatric issues may be the reason for fatigue, it is reasonable to make certain that there is not an underlying physical illness that is the root cause".

"Individuals with fatigue may have three primary complaints; however, it can vary in each person.
There may be lack of motivation or the ability to begin an activity;
the person tires easily once the activity has begun; and
the person has mental fatigue or difficulty with concentration and memory to start or complete an activity.

While fatigue can last for a prolonged period of time, the presence of chronic fatigue is different than chronic fatigue syndrome, which has specific set of two criteria set for by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention as follows:
Have severe chronic fatigue for at least six months or longer with other known medical conditions (whose manifestation includes fatigue) excluded by clinical diagnosis; and
Concurrently have four or more of the following symptoms:
post-exertional malaise
impaired memory or concentration
unrefreshing sleep
muscle pain
multi-joint pain without redness or swelling
tender cervical or axillary lymph nodes
sore throat
headache

Other words that a person might use to describe fatigue may include:
lethargic,
listless,
lack of energy,
tired,
worn out,
weary,
exhausted,
malaise, or
feeling run down". Benjamin Wedro, MD, FACEP, FAAEM

When you read the above article I am sure you think, WOW that is me! If it is then you need to talk to your doctor about the symptoms of your fatigue. If you have Severe Chronic fatigue which you do not feel is related to your chronic illness[s] as it stands at the moment, you may need to have more test ran and look see if there is something else going on. You can have a chronic disease process and continue to participate in life. Not feeling like you don't feel well all the time but at "flare up" moments. Most of us though with Lupus or other Chronic illnesses it is related to the disease process.

I know for a fact having chronic fatigue sucks the life out of me. What causes it, no one really knows; there truthfully is no one cause of fatigue that is identifiable as a specific trigger for it to begin the process of knocking you (me) on our proverbial assess. When I am down I am down. I get a few things done here and there, but with effort put forth for sure!

I do long for the days of full of energy and vim and vigor. But this is my life now. As they say fatigue is not an underlying issue and is not important to try to prevent it.

WHAAAAAAT?

"Fatigue as a symptom can occur as the result of many causes and therefore, prevention is not an issue. More importantly, the early recognition of fatigue will allow a person to seek medical care and potentially have an earlier diagnosis of the underlying cause made.

Sometimes, symptoms like fatigue arise gradually and it is difficult for the person to realize that there is a problem. It may take an outside perspective from a friend or family member to appreciate a difference in function. Self-awareness of gradual decline in body performance is often difficult as a person makes repeated small accommodations to complete daily activities".

It is true; you expend more energy trying to prevent your fatigue than you do when you are fatigued. Since there is no known underlying cause, what are you trying to prevent?

It is IMPORTANT to pay attention to your body, your illness[s], and how you are changing your daily routines to accommodate your fatigue. AGAIN I SAY JOURNAL IT ALL!

When going to your PCP (primary care provider), you need documentation of the changes in yourself, daily routines, and life in general. I can tell you if you are too tired to poop then you are too tired to remember! Journal your daily changes with all the words that you need to describe it, if you can't do it yourself have a family member or friend do it for you - (they will get a better perspective of your fight).

Take your journal with you too ALL doctor appointments and let them read it or you read it, make them a copy and leave it. Then follow up on it. But do it. You will be happier in the long run as they have a better idea of how and what to look for and treat.

Take your time for you, sleep, rest, do nothing! It's all good, it will be there for the next day you feel like you may get something done!

Look at photos of quilts and get ideas, or just enjoy them. It is a time to reflect, let life and thoughts go and just be...

Til next time!

T